Super Sexist Bowl? STFU

When this year’s Super Bowl matchup was announced, Saints vs Colts, I renamed it to the Super Snooze. I felt it would lack that action packed, hard-nosed, 60 minutes of thrilling NFL football I was accustom to watching. I’m happy to report that I was wrong. The game was actually competitive and pretty exciting! And the commercials weren’t too shabby either...or at least that was my personal opinion when I went into work on Monday morning. I figured there would be Peyton Manning fans whining, but what I didn't expect were women to be shouting sexism! Sexism, really? I’m sorry, the ads are only seen as sexist if you twist the humor out of them. So lighten up. They aren’t sexist. They are geared toward men! So if you’re not a man, there is a good chance you wouldn’t enjoy something geared to men. Correct? That’s why women subscribe to Cosmo and not Maxim. So what makes you think the Super Bowl should be the exception to that rule? I wouldn’t tune into the Oxygen channel or the Lifetime Movie Network and expect the commercials there to be geared toward me.

Let me make something clear to everyone. Football, just like any other televised event/show, has a target audience. The NFL marketing demographic is aimed at males ages 18-34. That is their target audience, who is tuning into the games. So it's only smart business for advertisers to create commercials that appeal to the vast majority of NFL fans, males ages 18-34. Needless to say, young adult males are into beer, tits, technology, cars, and potty humor. This is why when you watch football, and especially the Super Bowl, you see ads for Bud, big breasted GoDaddy.com girls and muscle cars. Sexist? No. Smart!

The cost for a 30-second commercial during this year's Super Bowl was $2.6 million! Do you really think any company would waste that kind of cash on a commercial that doesn't grab the attention of males ages 18-34, their target audience? If you were selling Tampax tampons, you would air your ad during "Oprah." If you were selling Viagra, you would air your ad during re-runs of "Murder She Wrote." And if you were selling Zhu-Zhu Pets you would air your ad during "Dora The Explorer." Women, you’re more than welcome to watch the game with men. Although you will never see any man scream "SEXIST" if a woman makes a remark about how tight the QB’s butt looks or how you live in Florida, but you’re rooting for the NY Jet’s simply because Mark Sanchez is cute.

Football is a game filled with testosterone, blood and sweat. Men behaving like beasts! Wrestling and roughing each other up in a battle of strength and strategy. So don’t be surprised (or complain) that watching football makes me want to eat meat, drink beer and burp. It brings out the animal in us. Personally, I think it’s healthy to hang with the boys and yell "FUCK" during bad ref calls. I also think it’s perfectly normal for me to drool over two hot chicks in lingerie making out. And it’s perfectly normal that I want to jump up and cheer when I see a man taking a stand for himself instead of being emasculated by an over controlling woman. If that makes me a caveman or a sexist pig, so be it.

FloTV (watch here) takes a regular Joe Schmoe and states that his girlfriend removed his spine, made him go shopping instead of "letting him" stay home to watch the game. They then encourage him to change out of his skirt and get a FloTV so he can watch sports on the go, AKA in the mall. In another ad, Dockers (watch here) incorporates a slogan that is as old as the day is long when it comes to relationships. They’re calling all men and instructing them that "it’s time to wear the pants." We all know what that means! But it was Dodge Chrysler's Super Bowl spot (watch here) that got feminists fired up the most! Titled "Man's Last Stand," the narrator is as bold as they come, saying...

I will get up and walk the dog at 6:30AM. I will eat some fruit as part of my breakfast. I will shave. I will clean the sink after I shave. I will be at work by 8am. I will sit through two hour meetings. I will say yes when you want me to say yes. I will be quiet when you don't want to hear me say no. I will take your call. I will listen to your opinion of my friends. I will listen to your friends' opinions of my friends. I will be civil to your mother. I will put the seat down. I will separate the recycling. I will carry your lip balm. I will watch your vampire TV shows with you. I will take my socks off before getting into bed. I will put my underwear in the basket. And because I do this, I will drive the car I want to drive.

Know why this is funny? Because ALL men have felt this way before! If you haven't, then you must not be married, haven't talked to married men, or haven't been in any type of relationship long enough to experience this robot-like lifestyle. It's like being a shell of a man where you lose the balls to say no or disagree. You simply do as you're told because thinking on your own and doing what you want causes too much drama in your relationship. And you hate drama! Therefore you rather just say "yes dear" and go with whatever she says like a zombie. You do this because you love her and want to make her happy, even though living this way makes you miserable! Then finally something comes along, in this case the car you've always wanted, that makes you finally put your foot down. You realize you take enough shit and do enough for her. So it's time to do something for yourself. I WILL DRIVE THE CAR I WANT TO DRIVE!

I can't say I like Dodge Chargers, but I love this commercial because I've always said I will refuse marriage or get divorced before any woman forces me to buy a car I don't want. I will NEVER own a minivan! There are lots of things I will compromise on, but my car is just not one of them. And I don’t care if any women thinks my Ducati is impractical either. My sportbike is like my Bulldog. Both will stay and you will go.

I am man. Hear me roar.



PS (I secretly loved the Google commercial best of all! It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I guess that makes me a sexist pig with a soft center?)

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I don’t know what I was thinking, apparently I wasn’t thinking. I took a story (a personal matter) and purposely twisted it, taking it out of context to create a humorous tale to post here on my blog. Stupid.

STUPID.
STUPID.
STUPID.

I’ve since apologized and removed the post I had published here earlier today. Still, I can’t take back what I did. Believe me, I sooo wish I could! I fucked up. I feel smaller than a midget, worse than an asshole, and dumber than a rock. I don’t know what my problem is, but I deserve the ending result.

I won’t say more than that because I’ve already shared entirely too much with this virtual world. So I’m going to shut up. But before I do, let me just re-emphasize one last thing...

I’m so, sooo sorry for what I’ve done! My intention was never to purposely hurt anyone, embarrass anyone, or let anyone down. I don’t expect forgiveness. I just ask that everyone doesn’t judge me based solely on this one act, on my sheer stupidity. I messed up. I was wrong. Now I have to live with it.

(comment section closed)

The Selfish Giver

I sometimes wonder if the act of helping others is actually fulfilling a selfish need of our own. In the sense, if I do for someone else, it makes me feel better about myself. In that twisted way, it almost feels selfish. Like I ask myself, "Am I REALLY doing this for them, or am I doing it to feel better about myself as the return?" They say giving should come from the heart, but the cynic in me can't help but wonder if all of us don't have ulterior motives attached. Ulterior motives that are hidden or just plain ignored because recognizing that ugly side takes away from the warm, fuzzy feeling and beauty of it all.

You should NEVER give with the mindset of..."what's in it for me?" You should give freely and WITHOUT wanting anything given back. You shouldn't look for a present in return, a tax write-off, some good PR for your company, or even a hardy pat on the back. I think good deeds are something that should fly under the radar and never be bragged about. So if the gift is supposed to be in the giving experience, isn't that still sort of selfish? Again, we may be donating money, goods, or services to help but in the process we are also doing that to allow ourselves to bask in a "feel good" moment. Selfish?

This has been something I’ve been mulling over for awhile now, ever since I read Grace Boyle’s blog post titled "We’re Born To Help." And with the recent fund raising efforts surrounding Haiti, I am interested in hearing other people's thoughts on my selfish giving theory.

Long story short, a few months back while at the vet’s office, I saw a fellow English Bulldog owner struggling with a very difficult decision. She didn't have the needed funds to pay for a life saving surgery, so instead she was facing euthanasia of her young pet. I decided to pay the difference of what she couldn’t afford so her Bulldog could be saved. I would hate to see anyone have to say goodbye to their furry BFF over money! Seeing her pain nearly brought me to tears. So again, I wonder. Did I do it for her and the dog, or to make myself feel better? Giving freely shouldn’t feel selfish, but if you look at it all twisted like I am doing lately, it kind of does.

Perhaps I'm not twisted and this is just human nature. Perhaps other people feel the same way and I'm just honest in actually saying it. Perhaps I should silence the "you're a selfish dick" dialog running in my head and look at it like Life Coach Jenny Blake told me...

"At the end of the day, if helping others is selfish AND altruistic, who cares? In that case, everybody wins. And may the planet be a better place for it."

Doodled Her Way Into My Heart

If you’re anything like me, you hated Jr High! Where I grew up, we called it Middle School and it was the place that imprisoned 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students from September to May. It was the most awful 3 years of my life! I was a scrawny kid who could have been best described as a rib cage and a pair of high tops. My body was all lanky, awkward, and uncoordinated. I often tripped over my own clumsy feet and as a result my shins were camouflaged in lovely shades of blue, green, and yellowish-brown bruises. But nobody was looking at my legs when I had a mouthful of metal and anywhere from 1-3 new pimples appearing on my face on a daily basis! My voice was cracking. I was growing hair in funny places. And my armpits began to sweat profusely. I was a hot mess, but only "hot" in the sweaty sense. So basically I was just a mess. Oh and I can't forget the completely unwarranted and unwanted, random boners that popped up at the most inappropriate times ever...like during the Presidential Physical Fitness Award pull-up test in gym. Honestly, I think I would have rather farted on my gym partners hands who held my feet during sit-ups than manufactured wood while hanging ten for all my peers to bear witness. Prepubescent years are the worst!

Doodle heavily cropped to protect the innocent, or rather guilty.
Gotta love the doggie style pornimation (porn + animation).

I tried my hardest to fit in even though I had no idea where I was best suited. I hid my true interests/hobbies because skateboarding and being able to relate to skate rats wasn’t deemed "cool" at my school. So I wore a mask and I wore it well. I pretended I was someone I truly wasn’t and playfully laughed along with anyone who made fun of me. This earned me an invite to join the safety of the "cool kids table" at lunch where I began to identify myself as part of their clique. Yes, this social misfit learned to blend right in...or at least blend in enough to squeak by those 3 long, torturous years I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy to repeat. Despite how awful Middle School was for me and what a dark image I just painted, there was one small ray of sunshine in my day. I don't remember her name, but she sat infront of me in Algebra class and turned around to doodled on my Five Star Notebook. (swoon 5x)

Even though time moves on, some things never change. I still love the handwritten letter and I still love the homegrown doodle. I'm not childish, but I am childlike. So any girl that can return to her Middle School self, showing me she has a fun and playful side in a 20-something body, will have my eyes looking up from my Algebra book...and in a board meeting.

I love the innocence and simplicity of a budding romance. Free of complications. Free of conflict. Free of drama. Free of injury and pain. It's just, well free. And it feels sooo good! Sooo right! Sometimes I question whether falling in love is better than an orgasm. I think it just may be.

It's so fresh, new, and shiny...like the plastic cover of my red Five Star Notebook. So you would think I wouldn't want anyone to doodle on it, but you're wrong! In fact, I want her inscriptions. She marks the paper unaware it's leaving marks on my heart. I'm not going to lie, it caused some fluttering to occur. I have a reputation that proceeds me and an image to uphold here. I'm a guy who is Perfectly Lonely and in the midst of a Manwhore Relapse. I've asked her before to stop being so effing cute! But she continues on, slowly doodling her way into my heart, one sketch at a time.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a doodler. And she gives good doodle.

***NOTE***
Due to some reader confusion in this post, I should point out that the doodle photographed here isn’t saved from my Middle School crush. This is from a modern day doodler. A 20-something girl who is wooing me with her scribbly scratch.

Are Bloggers Real Writers Or Just Literary Dabblers?

I like to write. I like to blog. But am I a writer because I’m a blogger? Some say yes. Some say no. I say..."I am not a writer. You will never see my name embossed on a fine leather book. The dream of being published does not exist for me. At least that’s what I say in my About Me section here on my blog. Although these days that’s no longer entirely true. I do dream of being published and having my name embossed on a fine leather book. But, I still don’t see myself as a writer. I’m a blogger, a literary dabbler. I’m not a REAL writer. And if you’re a blogger, I’ll tell you exactly why you probably aren’t a real writer either.

The vast majority of bloggers are not writers and very few bloggers can actually write well. Ouch. I know. Believe me, this realization pains me too. After reading Modite's post on this and seeing countless other posts around the web debating whether or not bloggers are writers, it got me thinking.

Just because you put pen to paper doesn’t make you a writer. Just like putting paintbrush to canvas doesn’t make you an artist. To me, you can’t call yourself a writer or an artist unless you get paid for your work. Most bloggers don’t get paid for their work/words.

When I say I’m not a writer, I say that because I don’t get paid to write. Therefore I don’t feel it’s right to call myself a writer. I enjoy writing and do it as a hobby (for lack of a better word), but the title writer should not be applied to me or any other blogger who doesn’t get paid for their words.

I would think that REAL, paid, talented writers would feel somewhat irritated at every Joe Shmoe running a blog labeling himself a writer. It’s discrediting to the title "writer." I think writing is a beautiful profession and it’s a title that should be earned, not given to yourself just because you can self-publish anything under the sun on Blogger or Wordpress. Let's be honest, anyone with a computer and an Internet connection can blog. Those aren't exactly high credentials for a writer.

Can blogging be a good playground to hone your writing skills? Most definitely! Are some bloggers so talented that they should pursue a freelance writing career? You bet! Although my feeling is that you shouldn't apply any title to yourself or call yourself an expert in anything unless you have the paper to back it up. Paper meaning - show me the degree/certification/license or show me the money. Unless or until that happens, you're just a literary dabbler like me. Blogger Boy.

Agree? Disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts. I don't want to be cynical and I hope my love of writing will one day flourish beyond some minuscule web address on the net filled with my random ramblings. diamondkt.blogspot.com is what I am and all I'm afraid I’ll ever be to the world. I am reduced to being a blogger (an unpaid one at that) and nothing more. I don't want to be just another wannabe writer lost among the millions of other wannabe writers living their dream thru a Blogspot address. But right now, that's exactly where I am.

Release

"It's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, to stop trying to hold on to it. Then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry, you will someday." - Lester Burnham

You have no idea what I'm talking about either or where I'm taking that thought. But don't worry, you will someday. Someday soon.

...to be continued.

The Humble Journey

"Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful." - John Wooden

The day I wrote my first work contract and had my lawyer sign off on it, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I had stacks of papers bound by staples. They were tucked in manila folders and stuck with Post-it notes to remind me of what each form was and if it needed a signature. I felt scattered brained and unprofessional. I began to question myself and question the company I had just begun. Could I do this? Would I be successful? Was I making a huge mistake? It was if an ocean wave slapped me in the face and I was choking. The necktie around my throat felt like a noose tightening. I pulled at the knot and tried to steady my breathing. I got through it, but a year later I was back in his office feeling a bit overwhelmed again. Although this time around it wasn't due to company uncertainty or self-doubt. It was simply because I had too much work, too many clients! That is a good problem to have. Just like before, I presented him with a stack of papers to sign. I remember apologizing for handing him so much. His response, "don't ever apologize for your success."

While I won’t ever apologize for my success, I also won’t ever forget where I came from, or all the hard work and sacrifice it took to get here. I also remind myself that the work is not yet done by any means. I’m not anywhere near where I want to be. My short term and long term goals may be carefully planned out, but the steps I take to achieve them are often spontaneous and at times feel a bit sporadic. But that's ok. That's life and my life is far from scripted.

I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I'm definitely not a trust fund kid. Growing up I rarely saw my father. He worked as a contractor and ran his own construction company. He worked 7 days a week from sun up to sun down. While I never had an interest in taking over the family business, I did learn a lot from him about the value of a dollar and having a good work ethic. At a young age Dad taught me that if I want anything in life, you have to work for it. Luxuries should not be given. They should be earned. Only then will you appreciate what you have and take pride in your achievements. What I have today I've earned on my own. I owe that not only to myself, but also to him, for the values he instilled in me.

My first job came when I was only waist-high. My Dad said he would give me a quarter to hammer some nails into a board. It was just to keep me busy and out of his way when I begged to tag along with him to work. It was also to teach me the value or a dollar, or rather 25 cents. I would go on to have a wide variety jobs before graduating college - landscaper, house painter, parking valet, pool lifeguard, unpaid intern fetching coffee, pet store salesman/poop picker-upper, an unlicensed psychologist/bartender, and I was even a male stripper for a day. It's been an interesting and humbling journey.

I take offense when people think I'm too young to have my own company, my own house, or a nice car. They make snide remarks like somehow I don't deserve it or assume that I must have been left a large sum of money from a wealthy relative's will. I'm not rich, but I do pretty ok for a guy my age. Still, they act as if this all came easy, without struggle and sacrifice. Believe me, I ate TONS of Ramen Noodles just like everyone else...and that was even AFTER college. There was a time when I cut my DirecTV, took the bus, skipped vacations, and did I mention the first two years of starting my own business I didn't give myself a paycheck? Yeah, that too. So don't tell me I'm lucky to be where I am today. I'm not lucky. I'm hard working. And don't make me feel like I should apologize for my success because that's just insulting.

You pave your own road to success. You lay a solid foundation and build upon it layer by layer, strengthening the road. Inch by inch you complete it and travel it. Sometimes you speed the process up by leaping and other times you stumble and fall. Sometimes you skip happily along and other times you drag your feet while groaning. But no matter how you get from point A to point B, the path taken is always different for everyone. Of course in life they always say it’s not about the destination, but rather the journey. Whenever I need a reminder of that, I look no further than my hammered thumbnail that is now healed over and the smelly dog shit in the treads of my shoes that are now washed clean.

Quitting Your Job In A Recession Isn’t Genius, It’s Idiotic

***NOTE***
If the post title alone is offensive to you, then you're exactly who needs to hear this cold, hard truth the most! So keep reading.

Quitter. It’s one of the ugliest words in the dictionary and the word I loathe the most! However, it’s a word that describes many in my peer group. I’m talking about my generation, Gen-Y. Whether you like it or not, almost everything in life has a stereotype tied to it. Stereotypes are both good and bad, true and false. Unfortunately, the negative stereotype tied to Gen-Y is fairly accurate and sums up the vast majority of Gen-Y. The one word stereotype - quitter. That’s right. I said it. Someone needed to say it. And who better to say it than a member of that generation? It disgusts me that I’m grouped with a generation of people who are labeled as a bunch of lazy, self-entitled quitters! Quit the team. Quit school. Quit your relationship. Quit your job. Quit your payments. I quit, quit, quit! What’s next? What’s left to quit? I’ll tell you what’s left. It’s time for all the "wantrepreneurs" (wannabe entrepreneurs) and starry-eyed 20-somethings with their heads in the clouds to come back down to earth and take a look around at this little thing called reality and the real world. Yes, YOU! The one who is unemployed not by force, but by choice.

In case you didn’t get the memo, we are in a recession. That means people are being laid off left and right and the chance of you landing a decent job right now is more difficult than ever. Jobs are scarce and competition is fierce. So you quitting your job in the midst of a recession thinking you will inspire people, change lives, and do big things is laughable at best. Seriously, who’s buying that spiel because I’m not! It’s transparent fluff. Smoke and mirrors. Basically, it’s complete bullshit. Mindless droves of 20-somethings are being spoon fed this crap online via Twitter and countless blogs. These days everyone and their brother has a story they want to share about how they just up and quit their job and moved to "insert city of choice" to pursue life unrestricted. Then they pause while their brainwashed followers applaud them for their bravery when really they should be booed for their stupidity!

Quitting your job in a recession isn’t genius, it’s idiotic! And encouraging your peers to join you by quitting their jobs too when a solid foundation isn't laid for the next big step in their life is insane! You're only adding to a higher unemployment rate and propelling our country into rescission even deeper! I want to grab these people by their shirt and bitch slap them across the face while saying, "grow the fuck up!" You’re acting no different than a rebellious teenager. Although these days it’s no longer cute or tolerable behavior because you are an ADULT acting like a child.

Let me stop you before you say this post doesn’t apply to you because even though you quit your job in a recession, you say you did so to follow your dream. Aww, that sounds cute and all, but it’s also very immature and naive. I hate to be the bearer of bad news and ruin the fairytale, but this story doesn’t have a happy ending. You and I both know that behind the curtain the great Oz will be exposed! Anyone can make anything sound more glamorous online. If you honestly saw what the day to day life of these people actually entailed, you wouldn’t be so quick to rally around them and jump on their "quit your job in a recession to follow your dream" bandwagon.

So you’re self-employed now, gainfully self-employed? Are you really? Because if you aren’t living on your own and paying your own way through life without any assistance from your parents or the government, then you aren’t self-employed. What you are is a burden to society. And to put it simply, you shouldn't have quit your job. You should have kept working and quit your whining instead. The smart thing to do, especially in a recession, is to hold on to whatever full-time job you have now while pursuing your "dream" on the side. People who do this are the ones that should be embraced and placed upon a pedestal. They are the true heroes! The ones that understand the value of hard work in trying times. The only situation in which it is ok to quit your job in a recession, or any other time for that matter, is...

• If you have another job already lined up that you can immediately go into. That means you've already been hired and you have a starting date marked on your calendar. If you don't have something that concrete, DO NO QUIT YOUR JOB!
• If you're sucking on a pistol. Tons of people hate their job and say they would rather die than spend another second there even though they don't have another job lined up ready to go into. However, if you don't have the glock cocked, the hammer pulled back, an itchy trigger finger, and your lips wrapped around the loaded barrel...you're not serious. So DO NOT QUIT YOU JOB!

Being a quitter is even worse than being a failure because at least when you fail, you gave it your all and that’s nothing to hang your head about. But when you quit, you simply gave up and there’s nothing admirable about that. I don’t care how you try to sugarcoat it and the billion excuses you give as to why you quit, you’re still a quitter and it leaves a rancid taste in the mouths of all future employers.

I’m not saying you should stay in the same job for 40 years like your Grandfather did and that you shouldn't pursue your dream, but I am saying to have some common sense! People my age can’t commit to anything and jump from job to job like we’re 8 again playing a game of Hop Scotch. It’s ridiculous. They feel they are too good for entry level jobs even when they are fresh out of college. You have to start somewhere and not wanting to start at the bottom and work your way up just shows your poor work ethic. You have a righteous, arrogant attitude. From an employer’s point of view, if I look at your resume and see that you can’t stay put at a job for a year or two at best, it looks awful! Seeing huge time gaps in employment will also get your resume tossed in the trash. It’s just the way it is. And like it or not, that’s life. Welcome to it.

I’ll Create An App For That

Apps are everywhere and do just about anything! They can give you the latest snow report, help you book a flight to that ski resort, and even turn your phone into a compass when you get lost on the slopes. In less than 2 years, the app craze has taken over. These small applications (AKA, apps) fit on our mobile phone and do everything from helping us accomplish mundane tasks to keeping us entertained while we ride the subway. Innovative and often addictive apps are changing the way we work and live. Research shows that 50% of smartphone users view apps as essential tools for helping them stay organized. We’ve all seen the commercials. Apple tells us "there’s an app for that." Pretty much you name it, they got it. But I don’t believe that. Surely there has to be something you want an app for that hasn’t been created or an existing app idea that needs improved upon, right? That’s where I come in.

When the original Apple iPhone debuted in June 2007, it featured just 11 apps. But customers quickly wanted more. Today Apple features more than 100,000 apps and developers submit roughly 1,000 new app ideas every month to the company. While all apps are taken into consideration, not all will make it to Apple’s App Store. However, you never know unless you try. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to create an app and submit it to Apple! Now this is where you, the reader, comes in...

When I was a teenager the biggest craze was instant messaging, in particular AIM. Back then I saw ways to improve upon the existing AIM client - cleaning up the code, simplifying the interface, and adding features the existing application lacked. It was geeky and somewhat challenging, but fun. In the process I taught myself some programing languages and a discovered a new appreciation for software engineering and design. Now granted AIM wasn't the most difficult software to work with. And creating iPhone apps aren't the hardest thing to create. But it has always been a little geeky goal of mine to create an iPhone app. So I'm making that one of my New Year resolutions. I'm going to create an app for that. For what YOU want and need.

So, like Apple, I too am asking you to think different. Think outside the box. Help me get the brainstorming going. No idea is too far fetched. Pitch it to me. What do you need? What do you want? What would you love to have? Let me make it happen.

Want it? I'll create an app for that.

Celebrate 5 Years at The Rest Is Still Unwritten

January 1, 2010 not only marked the beginning of a new year and a new decade, but also my 5 year Blogiversary here at The Rest Is Still Unwritten. 5 years! Good God! If you had asked me 5 years ago if I would still be blogging, my answer would have been a sound no. Afterall, I registered an account with Blogger back in 2002 but never published a single post until 2005! Since it took me 3 years to even write my first post, I really didn't expect to stick with blogging for more than a month at best. But somehow, someway, and for whatever reason I'm still here. 1,825 days later and I'm still writing. As I creep up on my 1,000th post and have already surpassed 5 years of blogging, I will do my best to recap a bit.

The PostSecret card I created to thank my muse.

I’ve always said I write for an audience of one (myself) and I started this blog because I was craving a creative outlet in my life. That is as true today as it was 5 years ago. However, I would be lying if I said all the feedback (both negative and positive) I’ve received from readers over the years didn’t matter to me. It’s been a HUGE push to keep writing! You’ve given me an ear to listen when I had none. You’ve given me support when I needed it the most. And you’ve given me encouragement when I truly doubted myself. You’ve calm me down when I was mad. You’ve pulled me up when I was sad. And you even smacked my ass when I was bad. You’ve laughed at my stupidity. Rolled your eyes at my manwhoring ways. And you shared a collective aww when I said or did something that was just so effing cute you couldn’t stand it!

So for that I thank you all! I thank you for reading. I thank you for commenting. I thank you for the e-mails. And I even thank you for the friendships. Yes, I said it. It sounds really geeky and rather unbelievable to say, but I’ve actually formed some real life offline friendships through this virtual world of blogging.

When you visit my little corner of the web, you’re not just reading a blog. You’re been getting a glimpse inside my mind, heart, and soul. Which is often scary, I’m not going to lie. Little pieces of me. Some beautiful. Some ugly. And some just completely misunderstood. But they all make up who I am. Then together we sort out the puzzle pieces and make them snap into place to complete a new and improved David 2.0 (or so that is my hope).

In essence, that’s all blogging is - growth. Personal growth, emotional growth, intellectual growth, and perhaps even spiritual growth. Growing as a person in life and capturing it in written words. To me, that’s a pretty beautiful and powerful thing. Looking back at some of my earlier years in blogging makes me cringe! The way I write seems so different now that I hardly even recognize that guy from 2005. But I think that’s a good thing. It shows growth. Now for a look at that growth. In celebration of my 5th Blogiversary, here are 5 stats about my blog. And in celebration of 2010, here are 10 posts I've chosen to note based on reader feedback.

5 Years of Stats
Subscribers: 2,000
Visitors: 235,000
Posts: 1,000
Comments: 18,000
Twitter Followers : 700

5 Years of Posts, Reader's Choice
Most Hated: 8/22/09 - Tracy's Facebook Fuck-Up Gets Her Screwed Twice
Most Loved: 9/11/09 - Save The Last Dance For Me
Most Shocking: 10/5/09 - My Deepest, Darkest Secret
Most Controversial: 11/05/08 - One Giant Leap Forward And One Giant Leap Backwards
Most Embarrassing: 9/3/09 - The More You Know
Most Inspiring: 1/19/06 - 1 Second Added To Your Life, What Will You Do With It?
Most Intriguing: 1/23/06 - 101 Things You Didn’t Know About Me
Most Raw: 10/20/09 - The Manwhore Relapse
Most Informative: 12/04/09 How-To Avoid Entering The Dreaded Friend Zone!
Most Heartbreaking: 2/10/06 - Permission

As you can see, you can learn a lot about a person through blogging and even more about yourself. Over the past 5 years I’ve learned so much! But what really resonates with me, thanks to all of you, is that I’ve learned that I have a little writing talent and should pursue it outside my blog. So I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone and into new experiences/challenges that allow me to put pen to paper in a whole different venue. It’s scary, but exciting at the same time. Don’t worry though. I’m not breaking up with blogging. I committed 5 years of my life to this relationship, so I want to see where the ride takes us.

***NOTE***
Lastly, I want to thank my friends at 20SB.net (20 Something Bloggers) for making me a finalist for the 2010 20SB Awards! I'm up for for 3 different categories! See what they are and vote for your favorite bloggers here.

Love Harder

"Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them." - Bill Russell

(remember that quote)

It's almost New Year's Eve and 2009 is coming to a close. You've probably been expecting me to do a year end wrap-up post like everyone else is doing on their blog lately. Now normally I would, but if I've learned anything at all from 5 years of blogging (well January 1, 2010 will officially mark my 5 year blogiversary), it's that life is interesting. In good ways, bad ways, and ways we will just never fully understand. As bloggers, we write about our lives in hopes of understanding ourselves and read about the lives of others in an attempt to understand them in relation to us. Still, no matter how much we write or how much we read, we can't comprehend the feeling of a freight train hitting us until it actually does. Life throws you curveballs (or rather cannon balls) and pain throws your heart to the ground. Picking yourself up sometimes requires asking for a helping hand. Today is that day.

If you don't know who she is, allow me to introduce her. Her name is Brandy and she is a 28-year-old Canadian girl with a strong desire to change the world. On December 20, 2009 her blog went silent. All she wrote was..."Life happened. I’m on an indefinite blogging break." Then she left this plea, asking for a prayer.

My name is Brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

Situations like this are all too real and hit home for many of us, myself included. That is why I am sharing this with you, in hopes that with me, you too will send much needed prayers and good thoughts their way. Because I can't think of anyone more deserving of a happy new year.

Oh and remember that quote? "Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them." I also want to congratulate Brandy in not only finding someone to love, but allowing someone to love her back even harder.