Monday, December 19, 2005

Twenty-Something, Life Thru Our Eyes

I come from a generation that doesn't know life before MTV existed. For those of you older, that may sound hard to believe and even scary. I can't recall if my age bracket is called Generation X or Generation Y, but those of us in our 20s all have pretty much the same outlook on life. We see and feel things very similar to our peers. Those younger than us have not yet had these experiences and those older than us may not always be able to look back on their own life and relate to a time when they were often the confused twenty-something-year-old. I may be old enough to have watched the DotCom Boom, but I was too young to really get a piece of it. I graduated college and entered the workforce as the DotCom Boom had turned to a bust.

Because I grew up with MTV, shows like "The Real World" have been on TV for as long as I can remember, over 15 seasons in fact. I think The Real World couldn't be a bigger joke for the title. There is nothing "real" about the world those twenty-somethings live in. They are matched up with beautiful roommates. They are given an incredible party palace to live in and destroy. They are handed jobs without ever having to interview for them. They work at these jobs half-assed and then are rewarded for their lack luster efforts with a free vacation to a remote island. To top it off, all along this show's journey they are living a life of doing nothing but drinking and having sex 24/7. Now that was fine in college, but this is supposed to be "the real world". A world where you are supposed to be making a life for yourself on your own. It's a time when the college party days are over. A time when you cut the purse strings from Mom and Dad, move out on your own, get a real job and get a real life. It's a time when you are supposed to be grownup and acting like a mature adult even though mentally/emotionally some of your choices along the way are anything but mature decisions. In short, it's a learning experience. A stage in which you discover much about those around you and even more about yourself. For the first time you are really seeing the world for how it really is. Those of us who didn't get picked by MTV to live in their version of "the real world" know what it's like to actually live in the non-staged television produced version of the real world. This is our reality, our real world. This is a glimpse of what life is like thru the eyes of one who is twenty-something. This is how we really live and feel...

They call it the "Quarter-Life Crisis". It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

You look at your job and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom - and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone, but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook-ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over. You talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

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21 comments:

Becky said...

Bravo Diamond! As a fellow member of the MTV generation, (as I know that was Danny in the picture from Real World, Austin when his mother died.)

Very well said, why such confusion.... I had to realize for myself that some friends just weren't worth keeping in touch with! It's hard to realize too, b/c you're at this median in your life, where you were a kid and you knew everything; and then all of the sudden you start to question everything that you even had all your loyalties in as a kid. Like is the religion my parents raised me in right after all, my best friend wasn't really all that good to me when we were younger all we ever did was get into trouble... etc. etc.

Thanks for posting this Diamond, it's nice to know we're not alone!

DIAMONDKT said...

I'm glad you can relate to it. It is kind of strange that when you are a teenager you feel like you know everything and then when you hit your 20s, you realize how much you don't know once you are in college. You learn a ton not just from books, but from life in general - life experiences.

For the first time you are really seeing people for who they really are and seeing the world for what it really is. Before your 20s, people were all put into little groups and labeled. The world was this thing that you watched on the news thinking "that stuff could never happen here, never happen to me"...until it hits home and it does happen to you. Perfect example 9-11.

EXSENO said...

Wonderful post Diamond. I remember all of these feellings. I wish I could say that they pass as you mature and some of course will, and you will never experience them again, but unfortunely, some of them can reappear as life take many turns in a life time. However the good new is since you have experienced them once you will be able to deal with them better in the future. They are your first learning experience of life in the real world. So I hope all of you that are young enough be experiencing them now learn you lessons well for it will benefit you in the future.

Anonymous said...

I rather be confused in my 20s than confused in my 30s 40s or older.

Mike

megalitz said...

HOLY CRAP! way to make me cry at work! sheesh! that was one of the best posts ive ever read. i empathize with you buddy. i love the real world, the show that is, seriously. maybe im gay, but it reminds me of my college life. i WAS the real world, in a nut shell. drama queen to the max. but now im actually IN the real world, the life, not the show, and its much different, as you mentioned. i have best friends from childhood that i have nothing in common with anymore, and best friends that make me realize i would be nothing without them. i look forward to the future, but im also, really, really, scared. but i guess, who isn't? right? thanks for the post. we're all going to be okay, we will look back on these days and laugh happily, knowing we are secure with ourselves and our lives...one day. : )

megalitz said...

oops. i think i might have just posted that comment like twelve times. sorry... hehe. feel free to delete.

DIAMONDKT said...

Oh no, I hope you weren't serious and that post really did make you cry or else I'm really going to feel bad. Thanks for the "one of the best posts I've ever read" compliment. Be careful, you don't want to give me a big head. Ha-ha.

Your comment only showed up twice, but I deleted the other one. It's the annoying "comment moderation" thing. One day I hope I can turn that off because it drives me nuts too...I hate all those extra login steps.

megalitz said...

haha, yeah, those extra steps are annoying.

well, i didnt *cry* but i did tear up. but dont feel bad, thats a good thing. i just know what you mean.

DIAMONDKT said...

Alright, good. Misty eyed is acceptable and doesn't make me feel bad, it just let's me know I hit a soft spot. Now full blown salty tears flowing down the cheeks, then I know I've done something bad to cause a girl to react like that and then I'm feeling badly because of it.

'ka said...

i gotta say that it's VERY interesting to hear this from a guy who's still in his 20s :)

i only know you from this blog. and from what i've read so far i gotta say that you're 1 interesting individual :) you think more than most guys i know in their 20s. it's a compliment :D

DIAMONDKT said...

Yeah, surprise surprise. You are always learning something new that goes on in my head each day huh? ;)

'ka, there are some guys in their 20s who think about more than sports, sex and drinking. Now ok, I'll admit I still think about those 3 topics, but I have a host of other things that cross my head too.

'ka said...

yes, i know there're SOME guys who think more than those 3 topics... but some = rarely... like how many %? considering how many male creatures walk around on this planet? :D

that's why i said you're an interesting individual :)

honkeie2 said...

Wow, talk about hitting the nail on the head! I to grew up on the real world, hell I remeber the first episode like it was yesterday. But I had those very thoughts about life with me for a while. Then I came to the concluse that life is what "I" want it to be. It wasnt getting the house, car or job that my parents told me I had to have to be complete. It was about being me and being happy with that. I am happy with me and all my faults and problems. I have a family now but still see it as me first, if you dont put you first who will.
Great post!

kira said...

Wow.

little erin said...

amen. its crazy this was written 3 years ago. how do you feel about this all now, 3 years later?

DIAMONDKT said...

3 years later and I still think it rings very true, or at least for me it does.

Stace said...

Hey that was a brilliant description of the quarter life crisis as I know it!

At least, I hope it was a quarter life crisis... Here's hoping for longevity!

nishi said...

sometimes its relieving to know there's someone in this world who knows exactly how u are feeling!
great post!

light208 said...

An excellent post, and I'm almost relieved to know that you can still relate to it over 3 years later. It assures me that I'm not going completely mad.

This is one of the best posts I've read of yours. I've been skittering around your blog so there may be better ones, but my subconcious leapt up and down like a five year old vying for attention after this particular post and I've come back to it twice now. Still questioning :)

Lou

lashedcheek said...

So you were the one who wrote about the "Quarter-Life Crisis"??

Funny, I re-posted it last July without knowing whom it came from (source said "by unknown") yet I could really relate to almost every aspect of it.

I came across your blog just 2 days ago from 20sb, have been reading your posts since then... and now I found this, that you wrote it!

Kudos to you! ^_^

Hoynotmanana said...

My aunt refers to it as "The wilderness age"

-Luke.