You know that guy that's portrayed in movies? The guy who wouldn't remember your name even if it was written on your forehead. The guy who can't get his shit together. Apparently that guy is me.
Lately I've become too wrapped up in my work. The other week my assistant had to remind me that my nephew was turning 1 and I should send a present. I never wanted to be that guy. The guy that needs reminders from his assistant to take care of the personal life he has neglected. I hate that guy!
I refuse to ever be the guy that has someone else send gifts or flowers on his behalf. The guy that can't remember special dates, like birthdays and anniversaries, all on his own.
I love giving gifts, writing a nice note, or picking out the perfect flowers. I've never been the guy who grabs the first card he sees in the store or just sends standard roses to get it over with.
I've always taken pride in the fact that I put a lot of time and thought in what gift I select and what words I choose to accompany it. That there is personal meaning behind it all. That it ties together. And most importantly, that there's no denying it's from me because it reflects me. And that there's no denying it's for you because it reflects you.
So what happens when you forget to remind yourself not to forget? What excuse do you use? The standard, "I was busy?"
I've never thought of myself as a forgetful person because forgetful people are usually unorganized, uncaring, or simply selfish. I am none of those things. Or am I? Or maybe I really am just busy.
Busy is an ugly word too. Say it outloud - busy. It's short. It's cold. Busy.
It implies I don't have time for you.
It's become standard dialog in our lives...
"Hey, how've you been?"
"Good. I've been busy."
But you know what? Busy isn't always good. Busy isn't always commendable. Busy sometimes sucks. And if you've been "busy" a lot, chances are you kinda suck too.
9 comments:
I hate to admit this, but my memory is NOT what it used to be. I'm pretty good at remembering birth dates and anniversary dates for immediate family. However, I can only remember the birth date for one of my nephews, only because he was delivered on the day before the string of December birthdays in my family.
I'm that terrible person who has to ask for reminders - from sisters, parents, friends - I have to ask. But only because completely forgetting is worse that asking for a reminder. I can remember the month people are born in, but I miss the specific day. I love buying cards and gifts for people and I have never had to be reminded to send to do that. I also always call in addition to sending things. I have to find the perfect card for my dad (and everyone else) every year, because he looks forward to receiving them. But, try as I might, I cannot remember the specific dates.
And, even though I've used the excuse, saying you were busy just feels like a cop-out to me, no matter how busy you were. I feel guilty for using it because everyone gets busy.
Puhleeze! I forget all of the time and I am not "that busy gal", who has a million and one things on their plate. If it makes you feel better, I once forgot my own birthday - undergrad and had a test on that day. That's why we also have friends and sometimes co-workers/employees to remind us. you work with computers right? Doesn't mean you are one.
I agree, "busy" is an ugly word.
"balance" is pretty beautiful though and, if it makes you feel any better, you're not alone in trying to figure it out.
There's NOTHING wrong with being selfish. If you think "busy" is an ugly word, then "selfish" is the most heinous of all words. It's practically a social pariah!
For me, it boils down to priorities and being active about what those priorities are. I forget people's birthdays all the time. Sometimes I can barely remember my own and MY days are spent looking for new manga to read. Clearly, I'm not a busy person.
But I also think being "busy" is an extension of being a hard worker or an overachiever - neither of which I am! That's probably a horrible thing to admit - who DOESN'T want to be a hard worker? But hard workers remind me of ants (and other colonial insects) because all they do is work. And go crazy in the process.
Part of being busy means prioritizing one more assignment over anything else. Being a hard worker, to me, normally translates to staying up late, taking on more assignments that you can actually handle and when you finally come up to breathe, you're already plotting your next to-do list. So why the hell would I want to be a hard worker?!
So I'm "lazy" in the sense that I'm not going to bust my ass unless it's really worth it. And even then, I'm not even sure what "busting one's ass" actually means. This is probably because in current dialogues, being busy means having more than you can handle, multitasking or always having somewhere to be.
We are a culture that worships at the altar of busy-ness, and we admire people who are able and willing to do many things at once. But I've never been a busy person, and prefer to just sort of hang out and do what I want. I'm sure some would say I'm lazy, or Type B. But it's whatever.
Admittedly, I like running errands and being out and accomplishing little things. But I'm cool either way.
Thanks so much for connecting this morning. That made my day!
I know what you mean about 'busy'. Ive been saying that a lot lately too, and I also hate it! Good reminder to just make time for the important things in life!
Marissa's face showing up on my blog again makes MY day! :)
Hello, David!
Yes, it is true that in some places people do tend to stay far too 'busy' and to forget to slow down and look at where they are. I also seem to recall that stress-related conditions such as high blood pressure and even heart attacks are far more common. The human body simply was not made to go on and on like the Energizer bunny.
I confess that lately I've been more busy than I should be. In a way, the hurricane that blew through my area a couple of weeks ago did me a favor by cutting me off from the source of much of my busy-ness. I discovered my neighbors, and rediscovered some old literature that I had meant to catch up on reading but hadn't- until then.
Kudos for catching the problem!
"Hey, how've you been?"
"Good. I've been busy."
Honastly I am shocked that this is supposed to be a positive dialogue! The only situation I can think of this in a positive way is if someone says it who has his own business. In a way of "thank you for asking, I have enough work to do, my company is doing well".
Otherwise busy sounds more like hectic, stressful but in a negative way.? Kath
...scary post. kind of a timely warning for me, actually, of where i may be headed if i'm not careful..
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