Will You Ever Marry?

Who needs a spouse? Not many of us.

According to the PEW Research Center only half of Americans are married. And half of those marriages end in divorce. "I do" is fast becoming "I don't"...ever! So the question is why?

Kim Kardashian was married for just 72 days making a mockery of the sacred vow. Certainly a sign of how our culture views marriage, or is it? We could point to so many examples of how little marriage means. Elizabeth Taylor married 8 times! Why bother?

Conservatives blame gay marriage, saying it's unconstitutional. The act was defined between a man and a woman. Others say the feminist movement killed "I do." Who needs a man when a girl can make her own money and buy her own sperm? Still others blame men who say men never much liked marriage anyway. But maybe it's more simple than that. Maybe in 2012 we just don't need to be married anymore.

The average marrying age is 27 for women and 29 for men, even older if you're college educated. Does that mean people who are educated are too smart to marry young or not at all? Maybe. Because I tend to think people who marry under 25 are out of their freaking mind! The majority of 20-somethings are more concerned with securing a job before securing a relationship. Really that's how it should be because most 20-somethings can't afford themselves, let alone anyone else.

My parents have been married for 35+ years. I've lost track of the exact number of years. Perhaps they have as well. I won't say they've been happily married because I firmly believe no marriage is always happy all the time. They've had their share of ups and downs - believe me. And they've fallen in and out of love - at least that is what I believe. When I was a child and they fought, I was terrified they would divorce! At night outside my bedroom door, I actually sat trembling on the staircase listening to them yell back and forth in an unrelenting storm. My Father's voice rumbled low like thunder. And my Mother's clashed with his like lightning.

I fantasized about all 4 feet of me standing up to all 6 feet of him. Standing up for my Mother. I would tell him how I didn't appreciate his tone or the manner in which he spoke to, and of, her. That we should sit down and calmly talk this over like gentleman. There may have even been a cap gun dual in this fantasy of mine. In my eyes, he was the bad guy and I always took my Mother's side. Of course the reality is I never said shit, even to this day. I've stayed out of my parents relationship just like both of my parents have always stayed out of my relationships. We have that mutual respect, that understanding.

The point is, I was the weird kid in school because I was one of the rare kids whose parents were still married. And because of this other kids thought I had it good. But that's the thing about marriage. It isn't always good. It almost always looks better from the outside. With so many young adults who have grown up from volatile or broken homes, is it really any surprise why they aren't eager to tie the knot?

People don't go into relationships with realistic expectations. A friend of mine once showed me a list of qualities she would like in a man. It was over a page long! Not only is that too picky, it's unrealistic. And she wonders why she can't find anyone. Your list should only contain 5 non-negotiables. Everything else you need to bend on. Don't want to bend? Then get used to being single.

Marriage is about the ability to get outside of your own interests and put another person before yourself. In this selfish world we live in, few people are willing to do that. And when it comes to doing the work, people are just lazy. They don't want to work at love. The thinking of "why work at something I can obtain easily elsewhere?" So people divorce over troubles that could be worked through and move on.

Maybe monogamy is an unrealistic standard for the times in which we live. Is it possible that it's impossible to have just one partner?

So I ask you, do you ever see yourself getting married?